Mama Made Magic

Making mom friends feels a little like dating. But somehow… even more awkward.

There’s no table at a dimly lit wine bar to ease into things. No casual glass of something strong to take the edge off while you talk about your life, your dreams, and whatever else might spill out. We’re usually stone-cold sober. And instead of talking about careers or travel or our favorite books, we’re swapping nap schedules, snack ideas, and the latest weird thing our toddler did with a toilet brush.

Sometimes I want to share how sweet my son was that day — how he whispered “mama” while we cuddled, or danced with his whole body to a jingle on TV. But saying it out loud feels so small. Like, who would even care? Who wants to hear about the boogers I wiped or the new word he almost learned?

I wonder if she feels that way too.

The other day, I was at the pool with Kal, splashing around and just trying to survive the heat, when a mom with a 10-month-old came over and started chatting. We only talked for a few minutes, nothing deep, but before she left, she asked for my number.

She was hosting a girls night later that week and said I was welcome to come.

I’ve never had that happen. I’ve thought about asking other moms for their numbers before, but I always chicken out. So when she asked me, I was shocked. And flattered. And, for a second, really excited.

But the day of? The nerves kicked in.

What’s the vibe? Do I bring wine? What if no one else is drinking? What if I wear the wrong thing? Do I bring Kal or go solo? She said I was welcome to bring him, but would I be the only one showing up with a toddler in tow? Should I go early like she offered, or just pop in for a bit and leave before bedtime?

Then, a few hours before, she texted that her baby had a low-grade fever. Probably teething, no other symptoms, but she wanted to let me know in case I didn’t feel comfortable bringing Kal. Cue another round of spiraling. I wrote about five different replies, going back and forth, before I finally hit send saying I’d still love to hangout.

Girls night didn’t happen — I didn’t learn until I arrived that everyone else had canceled — but we still hung out. We took a walk and let the kids interact. Her kid smacked mine a few times and mine tried to use him like a step stool. It wasn’t a long hang-out, but it felt good to go.

I wonder if we’ll actually click… or if we’re just two stay-at-home moms craving conversations with someone who doesn’t leave out half the syllables and rely on pointing at things for us to understand what they’re saying. And yeah, the fact that she lives in the same apartment complex would make things easier. No loading up the toddler in the car and worrying about what we forgot at home. I don’t know if this could be the start of a friendship, or just a proximity-based survival pact.

I think what I’m really hoping for is someone who won’t judge me for decorating the bottom half of my home like a daycare, or for building my day around nap schedules, but also wanting a glass of rosé in the evening and the occasional night out on the dance floor — assuming the grandparents are down to babysit. Someone I can sit with on the balcony while the kids run wild before bedtime, talking about something other than screen time and snack plates.

I don’t know if this will turn into that kind of friendship. But if I want to find one, I have to start with the basics — the milestones, the boogers, the snacks — and see if there’s anything more underneath.

I do know it felt good to talk. To not be alone for an hour. Even if it wasn’t what I expected. And this was the first time I took that step toward hanging out with anyone! Maybe next time I’m talking to a mom at the library or the splash pad who seems kind of cool, I’ll be the one to ask for her number.

I think I’ll invite her over next week.

Once I clean the house.
And maybe move the washer out of the bathroom.